My Main Men

These past few weeks have been really hard for me. Not having a car has been very stressful. But what is more stressful is that fact that it's my fault for believing the man that promised me he would fix it. I'm such a fool.

We're now faced with the fact that we have no money to fix the car any further. We have used the money we had saved to get my oral surgery on the car and now no longer have money for that and the pain is getting really bad. We can not afford to trade my car for another or to lease another, therefore we will have to continue making monthly payments on a car that no longer runs. Aaaand, all of this is all just another reminder of how we can not get out of this house and so we're stuck loafing off my parents for even longer.

I'm just bad luck.

Today, however, while sitting in my office, hating what I do and counting the seconds until I could get out of there; I had a great and unexpected feeling of appreciation come over me.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with gratitude towards all the men in my life.

These men have taken care of me despite all the bad luck I am and all the bad luck I've probably brought upon them because as we all know, no good deed goes unpunished.

I'd like to take a moment to express my gratitude about them.

First there's my dad.

What has this man not done for me? He has worked his hands to the bone to make money to provide for us and to make sure we never went without anything. I was sick a lot as a child and he always found a way to make sure we had money for my doctors and specialists. When I learned to drive, he taught me and gave me his own car to use as my own. He fixed that car every time it broke and he'd come to my work while I was working and change my oil for me in the parking lot when it was time for it to be changed! When he's at the store he will pick up candy or anything he thinks I would want and bring it to my room to present it to me with a huge grin on his face. And every time he has come to pick me up since I haven't had a car, he had brought me a cold water so I can "cool off" (as if I do manual labor or something).

He's one of a kind and I'm so lucky to have him as my dad.

Then there's Nate.

Nathan is a genuinely nice guy and I don't think he has ever met a stranger. He can talk to anyone and has a way of making everyone feel comfortable. He's a sponge for learning new things, he's hilarious at telling stories, and he has a way of always making you feel safe when you're with him.

Over the years, Nathan has lent me his ear many, many times as I've rattled away about things that were on my mind and although I'm sure he was bored to tears, he never acted like it.

Nathan has also been helping me get home as I've struggled without a car and today he sat on the phone with me for a very long time while we were both working and helped me explore options for getting a new car. He even went through the trouble of calling the dealerships for me. Even though we weren't able to fix my problem, he fixed all the questions that were circulating through my brain and helped me cope with the fact that it just wasn't going to happen.

Since I never had any brothers growing up, Nathan filled that gap for me and I'm really lucky that it was him that filled it. He's just what I needed.

Josh

In my life, I have never met a bad Josh. Joshes are just good people and my Josh lives up to his name.

Josh is my best friend. Although we didn't grow up together and haven't known each other for 10+ years, I think Josh understands me more than any friend I've had in my entire life.

Josh and I met through work right before I was leaving on my mission. In the few weeks before I left, Josh and I instantly made a bond and although I didn't get to learn very much about him, I knew he was special.

When I returned home sick from my mission, Josh was there. When my arthritis would come out of remission and I would be up crying in pain all night, Josh would sit beside me and read me PEOPLE magazine all night and not sleep either. And when I was getting married and going hormone crazy with nerves, Josh was following behind me picking up the pieces.

Josh is the man! Enough said.

And then there's Matt.

Is there ever a day when he is not in a good mood? Never in my life have I met a person who can stay so darn positive, especially when they're around someone as unlucky and depressing as I am sometimes. Matt has dealt with a LOT of unexpected misfortunes that came with marrying me and never gets frustrated about them. Even when I'm frustrated and lay in bed crying about it all at night, he never lets it get him down and just keeps on repeating, "It will all work itself out one day." Matt has battled a LOT of rush hour traffic during this whole car ordeal and I guess he will be battling a lot more now that we're a 1 car family, but so far his only response to this is, "Hey we get to spend so much more time together! This is great!" What a guy.

I love these men.